Make Up Their Mind

The first step in client interaction is to establish rapport. The word “rapport” is

French, literally meaning, “to bring or offer back”, (you will see the how

appropriate that becomes when we discuss Mirroring and Matching). The

French use the word most often in the expression, “en rapport avec”, which

can be translated as “to be in connection with someone.” For our purposes we

explain rapport as meaning the quality of trust, agreement and cooperation

resulting in a reciprocal acceptance that occurs between individuals, enabling

them to relate to and communicate perfectly with each other. We might further

define rapport as a state of harmony and recognition between people, an

acceptance and mutual understanding that results in a sense of ease and

comfort. Congruency. It occurs naturally when people are in “sync” or in “tune”

with each other, such as when they share common interests. However,

rapport does not always occur spontaneously or naturally. When it does not

exist naturally, it can be developed by one person entering the other’s reality

and communicating with them on their level.

In understanding rapport it is important to realize that each person

builds their own unique map of the world. Everything they do, feel, think or

experience, every decision they ever make, every conclusion they ever draw

is based entirely on their map, rather than the world itself. Their map becomes

their perspective of the world, and everything they perceive and understand is

based on and skewed by their perception of the world. This becomes their

reality. Rapport can exist only where a sharing of that reality is present

between individuals. Thus we must identify the client’s reality, understand it,

and enter it.

Everyone has been in rapport at one time or another. We have all had

the experience of interacting with someone and leaving them feeling good and

very positive. Losing all track of the time while we were together. Becoming so

absorbed and immersed in the moment and the conversation that we may

even forget for a moment where we are. Then, when we part, we leave with

the feeling that the person is really special, perhaps even thinking “what a

great person,” and feeling that we were pretty special too. That is rapport.

When you are talking with someone, a spouse, a co-worker, a friend, and you

are in rapport, you may open your mouth to speak at the same moment,

maybe even to say exactly the same thing. This is rapport too. Rapport is an

essential element of all effective communication.

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