Make Up Their Mind

The first step in client interaction is to establish rapport. The word “rapport” is

French, literally meaning, “to bring or offer back”, (you will see the how

appropriate that becomes when we discuss Mirroring and Matching). The

French use the word most often in the expression, “en rapport avec”, which can

be translated as “to be in connection with someone.” For our purposes we

explain rapport as meaning the quality of trust, agreement and cooperation

resulting in a reciprocal acceptance that occurs between individuals, enabling

them to relate to and communicate perfectly with each other. We might further

define rapport as a state of harmony and recognition between people, an

acceptance and mutual understanding that results in a sense of ease and

comfort. Congruency. It occurs naturally when people are in “sync” or in “tune”

with each other, such as when they share common interests. However, rapport

does not always occur spontaneously or naturally. When it does not exist

naturally, it can be developed by one person entering the other’s reality and

communicating with them on their level.

In understanding rapport it is important to realize that each person builds

their own unique map of the world. Everything they do, feel, think or experience,

every decision they ever make, every conclusion they ever draw is based

entirely on their map, rather than the world itself. Their map becomes their

perspective of the world, and everything they perceive and understand is based

on and skewed by their perception of the world. This becomes their reality.

Rapport can exist only where a sharing of that reality is present between

individuals. Thus we must identify the client’s reality, understand it, and enter it.

Everyone has been in rapport at one time or another. We have all had the

experience of interacting with someone and leaving them feeling good and very

positive. Losing all track of the time while we were together. Becoming so

absorbed and immersed in the moment and the conversation that we may even

forget for a moment where we are. Then, when we part, we leave with the feeling

that the person is really special, perhaps even thinking “what a great person,”

and feeling that we were pretty special too. That is rapport. When you are talking

with someone, a spouse, a co-worker, a friend, and you are in rapport, you may

open your mouth to speak at the same moment, maybe even to say exactly the

same thing. This is rapport too. Rapport is an essential element of all effective

communication.

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